What is limerence?

Limerence is a psychological concept that refers to a state of intense romantic desire or infatuation for another person. It was first coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in her 1979 book "Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love."

Limerence is characterized by an obsessive focus on the object of one's desire, intense feelings of attraction and arousal, and a constant need for validation and reassurance from the desired person. It is often accompanied by feelings of anxiety and insecurity, and it can lead to a preoccupation with the object of desire to the point of neglecting other areas of one's life.

Limerence is not the same as love, as it is often accompanied by a lack of genuine intimacy and a strong desire to possess the object of one's desire. It is also not the same as infatuation, as it tends to be more intense and long-lasting.

Limerence can have a profound impact on an individual's behavior and decision-making, and it can be difficult to distinguish from genuine love. It is often accompanied by a sense of euphoria and excitement, but it can also lead to distress and even depression if the object of one's desire is not reciprocated or if the relationship ends.

Limerence can be triggered by a variety of factors, including physical attraction, shared interests and values, and a sense of connection with the other person. It can also be influenced by cultural and societal expectations of what constitutes a "perfect" relationship.

Navigating Limerence

While limerence can be a powerful and all-consuming experience, it is important to remember that it is not the same as love, and it is not a healthy or sustainable basis for a long-term relationship.

If you find yourself experiencing limerence, it may be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional to help you navigate your feelings and make healthy decisions.